WHY CAN'T I THINK NORMALLY: THE PREQUEL 1

Before I turned a weirdo I was a normal ordinary down to earth guy.....Loving everything around...living life to the fullest .....why did I changed....what made me change...why did this stupid transition took place inside me...I am no more myself....I have lost what I had...no damn it...I am still a virgin....I am talking about the personality which existed inside me.....I am now a total stranger.....
I love to speak senselessly nowadays...reflected in my blog...well this is me...who is not me.....
Who were my influences....I wonder sometimes about this question....I was a fan of Kurt Cobain....Jim Morrison.....But I never thought that they would help me change....I changed due to them....I was depressed....Kurt's music and Jim's poetry helped me to revive back....now my sole objective fuck this society whos is fucking me and others who are just like me.......no I am not a messiah....but nor am I hypocrite.....I have been accused of ambidexterity..forget it....the change in me is the result of something which left me with a bad taste something which I still don't understand.....why fuck did it happened to me.....Forget it......

Now it's upto you to answer.....AM I EVIL.....AM I DEVIL

WHY CAN'T I THINK NORMALLY

suicide.what's so big about it....just go up and hang up yourself..you will twitch and scream and after a while you will be free.your soul will float in the air.your damn soul.your polluted soul will vituperate the air. we those who are still alive will choke.so you asshole don't think about committing suicide.it sucks. and only great men can commit suicide. not any wimp.you should have that strength in your dirty bump to jump over. the pain you will feel when a knife slashes in your body.. when the noose strangles you to death.. can you imagine.. i know while reading this you have already pissed in your pants..

your name will come out in the paper.. we will read it..some one will abuse you for taking such a lame decisoin in your life..someone will curse you..someone will not cry for you..infact someone may shed crocodile tears for you

by the way.. why do we commit suicide.. when we r mentally battered..... our soul has taken a beating.. we don't get what we crave for..why the fuck guys and girls why the fuck…stupid morons are they who contemplate suicide..

you may be wondering why I am excogitating on this quite unnatural subject…may be because once I thought of committing suicide…no it’s not that….may be eddie vedder influenced me[no he is still alive]..the reason is kurt cobain…yes he did commit suicide..

and the fault lies not in him but the surroundings which led him undergo this dreaded act…I will not blame him….but I would rather blame the system of which he was a part…depressed he was.though he was successful…but being successful doesn’t provides you with the license to be happy….he was sad…he was depressed. no one understood him…and he quietly chose to end his life…..same goes with Marilyn Monroe the sex symbol of the 50’s Hollywood…..mega rich lovers…scandals….she died.. cause apparent suicide…..i will write more about them kurt Cobain, Marilyn Monroe and some unknown faces who are no more with us……